Khius and Kolobovniks

I bought a copy of Russian for Dummies and have been boning up on simple phrases that may come in handy when I run the Baikal Ice Marathon next month.

Доброе утро, товарищ! Это великолепный день в России-матушке!

Good morning, comrade! It is a glorious day in Mother Russia!

Нет воды. Водка!

No water. Vodka!

Kaк далеко до следующей станции помощи?

How far is it to the next aid station?

Я не могу чувстсвовать свою мошонку.

I can no longer feel my scrotum.

On to Siberia

Every now and again, you’ve got to s***-can the straight and narrow, say lah-de-dah to your worldly responsibilities and do something hare-brained, off kilter  and fun.

 

Two years ago, I traveled halfway around the world to take part in Transvulcania, a 50-mile race in the Canary Islands. It reduced me to tears, left my feet swollen to the size of footballs, and provided me with the incomparable experience of running up and over a volcano with a bunch of crazy Spaniards. Last year, I flew to Yellowknife in Northern Canada to trot along 30 miles of ungroomed trails on snowshoes. Beat to death, I quit two-thirds of the way through but I’ll never forget the experience of standing in the middle of a frozen lake without another living soul in sight.

You really ought to try it.

The Frostbite 50 (31) and Me

On March 28, some 85 people took part in the Frostbite 50, sponsored by the Yellowknife Multisport Club with the able assistance of the Yellowknife Ski Club, Yellowknife Search and Rescue and other generous volunteers. About half the field participated in teams, splitting the course among two to five competitors, the rest took part as soloists. Racers also had the choice of tackling the course on cross country skis or snowshoes, with the majority opting for the former. Only a few chose, as I did, to attempt the course as a solo competitor on snowshoes.

The Good Wife

No doubt the most astonishing fact of my upcoming trip to Yellowknife for the Frostbite 50 is the decision by my wife, Lindi Rosner (a virtually-born-and-bred, flip-on-the-heat-when-it-dips-below-68-degrees, Southern California girl) to tag along. Lindi has her heart set on witnessing the aurora borealis and Yellowknife purports to be the best spot on earth to accomplish that goal.

Obviously, such an expedition requires careful planning, and I, having spent a total of 8 days out of my 60-plus years in the Arctic and Sub-Arctic, have been appointed Lindi’s expert guide. In making my wardrobe recommendations, I adopted a classic layered strategy that favored practicality over fashion. 

You judge the results!

For the base layer, I chose merino wool tops and bottoms. Lightweight and breathable. They’ll keep her warm in the face of the most severe Arctic blasts, but still comfortable when snuggled on a polar bear rug back at the hotel.

My Frostbite Adventure

In two weeks, I will run the Los Angeles Marathon and on the 20^th of April, I will have the privilege of participating in the granddaddy running event of them all, the Boston Marathon. Yet the date that’s circled on my calendar in bright red is March 28^th. That’s when I’ll be in Yellowknife, NWT, Canada for the Frostbite 50.

Roquey Road

Transvulcania Race Report

The 2014 Transvulcania Ultramarathon began at 6:00 a.m. on Saturday, May 10 on La Palma, a volcanic island in the Canaries. More than 2000 runners boarded buses at 3:00 a.m. and were taken to the starting line at Fuencaliente on the southern tip of the island.

Discombobulated

If yesterday I had gone to hell in a hand-basket, I would have enjoyed more legroom than I did on Iberia Express flight 3942 from Madrid to Tenerife (one of four flights involved in my journey to La Palma). They should rename that carrier Oz Express as the seating plan was designed for Munchins.

Not that I’m complaining.

Shown actual size.